Humour of Metropolitan Lakdasa de Mel - Stories that I learnt from my mother....
1. Metropolitan Lakdasa was a close friend of many Buddhist monks. Once they had a consultation on the concept of “Anatta” අනත්ත (no permanent entity called soul) in Buddhism. After having a meaningful dialogue about this philosophical concept he addressed all the monks and said “You know my dear friends there is no “anatta” beyond “kanatta” ( කනත්ත is cemetery)!
2. In a Christian consultation... participants had a discussion on “seed theology” where Metropolitan Lakdasa and Revd Basil Jackson (first Principal of the Theological College of Lanka, Pilimatalawa) were present. Then some participants were confused and found it difficult to understand this concept. To clear the confusion Metropolitan Lakdasa told the conference “See.. when you plant a Jak seed Jackson comes up”!
3. Metropolitan Lakdasa made every effort to indiganize the Christian church. He encouraged parishes to use local musical instruments, local music and local customs etc. Then one person asked him to consider introducing elephants to make Christian processions more effective. He immediately responded and told this person “We have Bishops instead of elephants”
4. One day a young person from an influential family came to Metropolitan Lakdasa and expressed his willingness to offer himself for the ordained ministry. At once he asked him “ Son - How is your stomach”. Then the young person responded and said “No serious issue – but at times I get some minor problems”. Metropolitan Lakdasa looked at the young person and said “If you want to be a priest – you need a Priestly stomach to stomach up everything”
5. A rich lady once approached Metropolitan Lakdasa and requested him to ordain her son. She told him “Bishop, my son is a very good boy – he never looks at girls, and therefore he is suitable for priesthood”. Then he asked the mother “Are you sure that he doesn't look at girls” She said “Yes Bishop, I am sure”. Then he adviced the mother and said “Then he is not at all suitable for priesthood – because if I ordain him he will start looking at girls – therefore first of all please ask him to look at girls and then consider ordination” !
6. From Revd Dr Eardley Mendis :-
Man of humor. Bishop Lak once said this about getting a car from England: "What's the point of having a sterling wife without a sterling car!"
7. From Dr Narmasena Wickramasinghe :-
When there was objection to drums at St. Michael's, Bishop Lakdasa told the protestor " My dear chap, the problem is that you have an Union Jack tattooed on your backside!"
I dedicate this story to my British friends and English teachers.....
One day a person went to the relevant office to licence his gun. But unfortunately the officer was partially deaf. This person informed the officer that he wanted to licence his gun. But he couldn't understand. Therefore this person in a loud VOICE told the officer "Sir.... "G" for Jesus - "U" for Europe & "N" for Pneumonia - I want to licence my GUN....."
Polish & British
A Polish young man who lived in England married a British young girl. After some time both of them found it difficult to live together. Then the Polish husband went to a solicitor and requested him to do the legal work for their divorce.
For this solicitor asked him on what grounds he wanted to divorce his wife. He immediately answered and said " Sir we have two grounds close to our house - one for children and the other for adults : my problem is different, I want to divorc...e my wife!". OKey solicitor replied and asked him "Did you have a grudge with your wife?" When he heard this young person was angry. He told the solicitor "Earlier you were talking about "grounds" now you are talking about "garages" - I want to divorce my WIFE"
Then the solicitor said " Sir, tell me what is your problem?" He replied and said
"My wife thinks I don't know English - I know English very well : recently a bottle appeared in our washroom with a lebal "Polish remover" - she is trying to remove me - before that I want to remove her ! "
Folk tales of the Theological College of Lanka, Pilimatalawa.
පිළිමතලාවේ ලංකා දේවධර්ම ශාස්ත්රාලයේ ජන වෘත්තාන්ත.
1. How Somapala became Dhanapala?
When Dhanapala was a young person he came to work at Rev Soms's (Somasiri) house. Dhanpala's real name is Somapala. Therefore at that time he was also called Soma. When Mrs Perera (Rev. Soma's wi...fe) called him by the name Soma both Rev Soma and Young Some used to come. To settle this issue Mrs Perera renamed him as Dhanapala. This is how Somapala became Dhanapala. To do justice to his new name form that time he really became Dhana (wealth) + pala (control )!
2. St. Augustine of Hippo
Fr Sydney Knight, who was the Church History lecturer of the College at that time taught the second years about St. Augustine of Hippo. He told the class that St. Augustine was with a mistress for 15 years and later became a saint. Then one young girl in the class asked Fr Sydney “Father what happened to the mistress?”. At that time this young girl was interested in another young man in the same class and Father Sydney knew about this. Then he told the young girl “ You know we don't know what happened to that mistress – we only know that St. Augustine became a Saint. Be careful there are St. Augustines here as well.
Later this young girl married that young man and after his ordination the young man was transferred to All Saint’s church, Galle.
One day Fr Sydney met this young couple and asked the young lady “How are you”. Then the young lady replied and said “ I am at All Saint's with St. Augustine!”
In 80s British Tamil scholar Rev. Louis Julian was the Principal of the College. At that time there was a worker called Velu who wanted an advance of his salary. Then Rev Julian told Velu in Tamil that that month he was unable to give him முற்பணம் mutpanam (The word for advance in Tamil). Then Velu immediately replied and said “Father I don’t want mutpanam please give me an advance!”
4. Another tale from the Bishop/President of the Methodist Church in Sri Lanka.
When I entered TCL In 1977, a young guy supposed to be the sweeper in the college came and swept my room early morning. When we went to the lecture hall he was seated in the other lecture hall as a student. Well he is none other than the present Principal Rev. Dr. Jayasiri Peiris. This is how he ragged me. What good fun. Ha ha ha.
5. Four "Siri" lecturers at TCL from Prince of Wales College ( Cambrians ), Moratuwa.
1. Revd. SomaSiri - Principal
2. Revd. PremaSiri
3. Revd. JayaSiri - Principal
4, Revd. KeerthiSiri
6. Tale from Rev. Sathian Kadirgamar
When I joined TCL in 1974 I was introduced to a Greek Professer. Next day he. was with me as a Student. He was Bishop Chickera.